Today is a rough day for me. My body is crazy sore and tired from pushing through some hard workouts this week. But I'm also feeling bad emotionally. I've just been hating on myself SOOO bad this entire week.
I hate the way I look, I hate who I am as a person, I hate what I've done or I should say what I haven't done with my life, just everything about myself I've been hating. I know it's not typically acceptable to bash yourself on social media but I do have a point.
Deep down I know these things aren't true. I am not ugly, I am not a bad person, I have done important things with my life. I know I'm not the only one that feels like this sometimes and I don't always feel like this anymore. I used to feel like this everyday and it's draining and exhausting to beat yourself up.
Even though I'm having a hard time now, I'm taking comfort in the fact that I know how to pull myself out of this funk now. I know that I won't and don't always have to feel this way.
Over the last year I've really learned to look at the positive, think positively, and know that there is a point to the things that happen in life. God isn't just out to get us and making life as miserable as possible. It's actually the opposite. He is pushing us to be better, to be smarter, more loving, and even more kind, even if it's just to ourselves.
There is a point to all the miserable in life, we just need to stop, take a breath and realize that life isn't out to get us, it's out to make us better and stronger.
So here is some advice that I need to take as well, stop thinking about yourself. Go out and do something, help someone, go be a friend, go be a mom or dad. Do something for or with someone else, lift someone else's day and it will also brighten your day.
Today I am focusing on being a good mom, on loving my kiddos and being there for them. I got to spend some one on one time with my baby while I was at Ethan's soccer game cheering him on and after that game we went and watched and cheered on Pierce at his soccer game. These kiddos are the most important thing I've done with my life and I need to take a minute and realize that they need me, they look up to me, and they are going to copy what I do. That means that I need to live the best life I can and set the best example I can for them.
I noticed that while I was full time mom-ing this morning, (meaning I was not on my phone or distracted with other things) I wasn't thinking about myself or how much I hate myself or my life. I was just thinking about them and doing all I could to be loving and kind and have fun with them. It really helped me feel better.
Another lesson to add to my list, be more selfless and life doesn't seem so hard and daunting.
